Revenge of the Sith (2005)

EPIII_RotS_poster

Holy shit, what a trainwreck of a movie. Often Star Wars fans cite this one as the best of the prequel trilogy, but at least you can sit through the other two without feeling like your brain is hemorrhaging. This is just an awful piece of shit from beginning to end. I kinda feel sorry for most of the actors here, after two episodes of this garbage they must have thought they already reached the rock-bottom of ineptitude only to be taught that there’s always more room at the bottom.

It has to be said, but Anakin is written like a very special person here (an unholy mix of ADHD and stupid). One minute he is all What have I done? (after having helped to kill another Jedi master), the next second he declares his undying loyalty to the killer and a few scenes later he upgrades from helpful fool to mass murderer by way of killing small Jedi children. This is no slide to the dark side, this is just a full-on clusterfuck of terrible writing that makes you wonder whether the writers just gave up and from that scene on it was all Lucas dictating.

The rest is just as terrible. No amount of cutting or editing (I watched the anti-cheese edition here) could have saved this. The plot rarely makes any sense, it’s like Lucas had the rough strokes of a plot and instead of putting meat on the bones of his narrative skeleton decided that insipid dialogue and neat special effects would keep this afloat without any notion of coherent internal logic or consistent characterization. It’s all just bonkers, worse, it’s not even fun to sit through, just plain torture.

So far, this is the worst of all the Star Wars movies, far worse than even The Phantom Menace or The Force Awakens.

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