Attack of the Clones (2002)


Now here is a movie that isn’t completely irredeemable. It’s actually two movies in one: Anakin’s & Padme’s love story (utterly terrible) and Obi-Wan Kenobi’s search to find out the who and why of the assassination attempt on Padme.

The love story is handled with the usual care you expect of director Lucas: it feels as if done by an alien with only a minimal understanding of romance and human behavior. It also includes pieces that are meant to showcase Anakin’s slow slide to the dark side, but since he comes off as an arrogant asshat with a simplistic worldview, his slide seems all but foregone.

On the other hand, Kenobi’s plotline is much more enjoyable. Once you’re able to forget all the stuff that doesn’t make sense anyway (basically the whole world-building here, none of the setting elements: politics, institutions, economics to the general behaviors of the various groups involved, let alone individual motivations, make any sense at all), it’s a nice action adventure that turns from a simple hunt for an assassin into a major mystery and finally into all-out conflict between the Jedi’s, their clone soldiers and count Dooku’s troops.

I watched the anti-cheese edition of the movie, that tried it’s utmost to cut all the extraneous stuff, but it still didn’t go far enough. If all of the romance, if Anakin’s whole plotline had been utterly erased from the movie, it would have been for the better.

Yes, some things might not have made much sense, but even uncut most of the movie doesn’t make much sense anyway. I still wonder if Lucas wanted the audience to see Anakin in a sympathetic light because otherwise, he did a bang-up job of showing what a twit he already was before his conversion to the dark side.

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