Superman Returns (2006)

I admit outright that I’m no fan of the old Superman movies, but at least they had a certain charm and were moderately entertaining. SR has to be the most costly fan movie ever made, directed by someone who admired the original from 1978. And yet that hasn’t translated well onto the screen. Superman has been away for five years, to survey the leftovers of his destroyed homeworld. When he’s back in town, things have changed. Well, mostly on the personal front, Louis has a kid and his dad is dead. And Lex Luthor is scheming again.

All that isn’t any indication of how dreary this movie is. Sure, it looks much better than the old movies, who look downright campy these days, but underneath the shiny surface things are not well. Superman has no character and looks like a puppy who has been hit after he finds out that Louis has a kid and is with someone else.

Luthor’s mad scheme is exactly that, it doesn’t make sense at all. To make Luthor work he has to be brilliant, not stupid. Apart from the characters the movie has a horrible pacing, everything takes too long. Some good action sequences are sparsely scattered here and there, but too few. The rest is annoying melodrama that just doesn’t work, since there’s zero chemistry between Louis and Clark.

Overall a nice looking sleeping pill, but not a good movie.