Swamp Thing (1991)
This is the kind of series I watched as a kid on TV with overwhelming glee. These days there’s not so enthusiasm for that kind of entertainment left. Taking elements from the comic series but remixing it too look and feel a bit like Captain Planet, one of these worst animation series to ever have grazed television screens. Gone is the brooding and dark atmosphere of the comic, instead we get a Swamp Thing with a cheerful attitude, annoying sidekicks, a seriously dumbed down Arcane as a megalomaniac villain and his evil and stupid henchmen. All in all it’s quite dumb, the dialog is wooden and ridiculous, the characters are cardboard and the plots can be summarized in one-liners. Basically Arcane is trying to become immortal through various means and Swamp Thing has to stop him in every episode. Thankfully they only made five.
Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
directed by Satoshi Kon
Another movie with a baby in a central role. Three homeless bums find a baby in a dumpster and try to find out why it has been abandoned and by whom, while fostering it for the time being. While the movie makes the life of homeless look far too easy at times, even if it tries to display some of its elements correctly, its an engaging piece that tries to make its main character seem genuine and human. Those three have found in each other a second chance, a second family, after they left their original one for reasons of their own. During their odyssey through the city to find the mother of the baby, all these things come out and each of those three has to face their past. Mind you, this is not a movie about redemption, but about three people who are lost and get a chance to reconnect to some of those people from whom they are running away. While there’s too much coincidence involved to make the plot feel realistic, the reactions of every character and their stories ring all too true and make you feel with them. And it can be quite funny at times.
Rating: 4/5
The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006)
directed by Mamoru Hosoda
A very neat movie that utilizes time travel to tell a very lovely romance that goes right to your emotional jugular. It goes like this: a girl somehow gains the ability to travel in time and uses it mostly to correct simple, everyday mistakes or just have fun. Mostly she hangs out with two guys (no love triangle there, thank god) and we follow her exploiting her time travel ability. When she realizes that her actions actually have consequences, and escaping her own mistakes makes someone else pay, the movie turns a shade darker and serious in tone, which makes it easier to address the romance angle. While the romance aspect is important for the movie, it’s not overwhelming and most of the time the movie retains a slice of life feeling, which helps getting to like the main heroine on her own terms and not just as some gooey-eyed girl from some schmaltzy romance.
I thought the ending was nice, but I do wonder how many people realized how pyrrhic it actually was, since when they meet again there might be some kind of age difference.
Rating: 5/5
The Avengers: United They Stand (1999-2000)
A short-lived, one season animated version of the Avengers, that is one of the worst Marvel cartoons of all time (wikipedia says so, so it must be true). I can understand where this might be coming from, but I have to admit I really enjoyed the series. There are some changes from the Avengers canon and the inclusion of sentai-elements are really stupid, but aside from that it’s exactly what I wanted from such a series: fights with cool villains (Kang, Ultron), the typical group drama and plots that while simple were fun to watch. I also thought it was a smart move to not include the heavy-hitters like Thor or Iron Man, since that made the team more dependent on everyone.
Rating: 4/5
The Halloween Tree (1993)
directed by Mario Piluso
The perfect Halloween movie, a guided tour through the ages, a mysterious man showing four kids the origins of their Halloween costumes and the true meaning of the holiday they’re celebrating, while searching for one of their friends. There are some excellent scenes, the passage from time period to time period or the building of Notre Dame. But what really makes this movie shine is how it captures the spirit of Halloween, much more than most live action movies I’ve seen. Sure, in some ways it’s more a lecture than really a plot driven movie, but it’s such a neat package and so much fun, and the characters of the kids really come alive, that you’ll easily forget the educational aspect of the movie.
Rating: 5/5
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001)
directed by John A. Davis
Be careful what you wish for could be the tagline of this movie, which sees all of the adults in town stolen by aliens, including Jimmy Neutron’s parents. Which, at first seems like a dream come true, but after some time all the kids realize their error. But thanks to Jimmy’s genius they follow the aliens into space via modified theme park rides and bring them back.
The movie has some very nice touches, including an allusion to Matheson’s The Incredible Shrinking Man. The modification of the theme park rides makes for some mindboggling scenes, hilariously original and extremely funny. The writing is smart, the characters feel like real kids and there’s a neat mix of action and slow scenes. What better way to infect kids with the SF meme than this.
Rating: 5/5
Barnyard (2006)
directed by Steve Oedekerk
This has generic plot number #379, where your main character, a youthful no-good, learns the lesson that there is more to life than fun, takes on responsibility and becomes a valued citizen. The first part of the movie emphasizes the fun-aspect, the second contains the more serious aspects of the story, inclusive a done by the number revelation-scene by the main character about his life and his role in the community. Still, it’s not too annoying and offensive to really grate on your nerves.
Short interlude. This is another animated movie featuring cows as the main characters. They look even more ludicrous in CGI than old-style animation (see Home on the Range). Maybe some executive person thought all the other animals have been done to death in animation and they needed something fresh. But cows?
Final verdict. Cows as heroes makes for mildly entertaining, mostly harmless movies. I wonder what comes next? Bloodsuckers - The Mosquito Movie?
Rating: 3/5
Home on the Range (2004)
directed by Will Finn & John Sanford
by Disney
This has generic plot number #566, where your main characters have to raise enough money before their home/land/range/whatever gets sold. That said, even generic plots can be fun if they are done well. Normally I would now plunge into a discussion of how well #566 is executed, in this case I can’t. There is something much more important that has to be mentioned.
Whoever thought it was a good idea to make cows the main characters? When I think cows, I think food. I think docile, boring creatures. Yes, I know, I’m pretty biased and very likely wrong about the true nature of cows, but hell. Cows?
Back to the movie. It’s nicely animated. It also nicely passes the time and is occasionally fun. It’s a fluffy movie that’s easy to watch. And it has cows as the heroes.
Rating: 3/5
Hercules (1997)
directed by Ron Clements & John Musker
by Disney
More entertaining than I expected, not because there’s a strong story, but because it has the same humor and attitude I liked about The Emperor’s New Groove. As can be expected from the title, this is about Hercules. Born as a god, turned human by Hades henchmen, he grows up as a human, but since he retains his godlike strength he never really fits in. Later he learns about his father Zeus and tries to become a god again by doing heroic acts. There’s also a love interest and Hades as the main antagonist trying to kick Zeus out of Olympus.
The movie tries to cover too much time, baby Hercules, young Hercules, grown-up Hercules, which makes it hard to really care for him, since he feels a bit different each time and the episodic nature of the movie makes it feel less than coherent. But the movie has a fast pace and makes up for its weaknesses with fun and action. Speaking about fun, it was just delightful to watch Hades and his comments and reactions on everything. If you don’t expect too much depth, but something easygoing, you might like this one.
Rating: 4/5
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
directed by David Hand
by Disney
Considering how old this movie is, it has really nice animation. The rest is just too old-fashioned for my taste. I like fairy tales, but I prefer characters with a little more depth than grumpy and sleepy and chirpy (the princess). Even the evil stepmother is rather boringly evil.
While watching this and trying not to fell asleep, I wondered what Snow White would have done if the evil stepmother hadn’t been so conveniently killed. Would she have asked her prince to wage war on the nation of the stepmother? Would there have been a tribunal with Snow White giving her stepmother a death sentence for attempted murder (after all, you can’t let someone like the stepmother run around) or exile? Would she still be all chirpy after that? What exactly was in the soup she did for the dwarves the first time, maybe some of the nice animals that helped her clean? The mind wanders and wonders.
Rating: 2/5
